Our Engagement - told by the Groom

When it happened

Thursday, March 20, 2014

How we got engaged, from Shai

After we got engaged, Shai sent an email to his friends and family with the details (from his perspective). I think he tells it well, so here it is!

On February 1, 2014 Kali and I entered a London Gold jewelry store for the sole purpose of changing my watch battery. To my total surprise Kali was at the back of the store checking out engagement rings, which we had never discussed before. As it turns out, Kali was suddenly trying on the ring of her dreams, everything she had ever wanted all rolled into one beautiful 2 carat oval yellow diamond with a halo and a double band. It was even on sale, but only for February. We gave the saleswoman our info then left and didn't discuss it again.

Two days later, I called and purchased the ring and had it delivered to my neighbor's house.

For 2 months the ring and photo books (showing the past year of our lives) were hidden in my neighbor's safe in an Amazon cardboard box. Two weeks before the cruise, I placed an identical, but empty, Amazon box in the garage directly in front of Kali's parking spot so she could subliminally get used to seeing the box and to ensure she does not inquire about it. The day before we left for Orlando, my neighbor executed our covert operation as planned and switched the empty box with the much heavier box containing the engagement ring and photo books.

I spent the two months prior to our cruise mostly avoiding discussion about engagement rings. At one point Kali even called London Gold and inquired about the ring, but I had already instructed the saleswoman to notify all the other sales reps to lie to Kali if she calls. After Kali told me she called and the ring of her dreams was gone, I, of course, apologized saying I had no idea that ring was so important to her and that no one ever called me about it. She insisted I was supposed to call them, not the other way around. I continued to manipulate any future conversations which culminated in me printing out some word docs that Kali had created and placing them into a special folder that "we would look at together once we're finally in Tampa with her family and have some time."

Two days before we left, I took Kali to get a manicure and pedicure (and yes, I absolutely got one too). She normally only gets pedicures but I talked her into getting a manicure and was even able to have her get that gel kind that apparenly will last longer. I didn't want to take any chances that she would pick the polish off and not be happy with all the pictures of her hand!!

The day finally arrived for us to head to Orlando for the cruise. I placed everything into my carry-on backpack and ensured It never left my sight while we traveled. At one point, Kali even asked what I had in there because she could see how full and heavy it was; "books" I responded, "lots of books." My next challenge was to make it thru airport and cruise security without having my backpack checked and my cover subsequently blown. As it turned out, my backpack was checked by cruise security but I managed to get Kali to wait by the conveyer belt while I whispered to the lady that there was engagement material for my proposal onboard the ship that night. She smiled and giggled then quickly checked my bag while ensuring Kali would not see its true contents. It was time to board the ship!

My Carnival Cruise agent, Manny (who has helped me cruise since 2010), had accomplished his best work ever in laying the groundwork and truly setting me up for success. He emailed the head Maître D' and the head Group Coordinator prior to our arrival and set in motion my entire proposal plan, which was to propose to Kali at dinner the first night while our song played over the loud speaker, followed by champagne being brought to our table, and the entire production captured by a photographer and videographer, and afterwards, waiting for us in our cabin would be chocolate covered strawberries and the photo book with a special card I wrote.

I boarded the ship ready to meet the Maître D and Group Coordinator at our pre-coordinated time as soon as I could get free from Kali. I immediately went to "change into my bathing suit" which took a lot longer than Kali expected. I eventually told her that the men's bathroom was closed and I had to find another one which was not so easy, but I brought back some good info on events taking place on the ship that night. The truth is I ran downstairs to guest services and talked to Maya, the Group Coordinator, and handed her the CD with our song and a paper I typed detailing the entire plan. Then I ran to meet Roland, the head Maître D at the dining room, and discussed the plan with him. Finally, I changed into my bathing suit and ran back to the pool to have a fruity cocktail drink with Kali and explain how impossible it was to find a bathroom.

A couple hours later, Maya called our cabin to confirm the price of the photographer and videographer. Kali was half-asleep napping on the bed when I picked up the phone. Maya immediately told me she planned to hang up if Kali answered. I made sure to speak to her as if we had not met before and as if I was not sure why she was calling. After I said "that's fine" regarding the cost, Maya hung up and I could hear the dial tone, but I continued speaking into the phone, "we haven't noticed any problems with our sail & sign cards but we'll be sure to let you know if either of them don't work, thanks for the call." Kali was too tired to even ask me what they were calling about.

Finally, it was time to get ready for dinner. I insisted we dress up fancy every night even though the only real formal dress up night was Captain's Night the following night. Kali went along with the idea not realizing of course that I was anticipating us being on video and having a personal photographer take our engagement pictures all around the ship for one hour following the proposal.

Everything was perfect, and before I could remove the ring from the box and place it on Kali's finger, she grabbed it from the box and placed it there herself!

The rest of the cruise was amazing. Kali gave me an early birthday present which was swimming with dolphins at Atlantis in Nassau, Bahamas and she bought me an "engagement" watch onboard the ship. Our fellow cruise passengers constantly congratulated us and the crew was wonderful. We played some Craps and Kali experienced what it feels like to throw the dice for 45 minutes straight standing at the end of the table as everyone around her cheers constantly as we are all making money together.

So...I said yes to my dress

There are lots of little girls who dream about their perfect wedding and their perfect dress for their whole lives and then when they get engaged they HAVE to try on THAT dress and will search high and low for it.

Let me be straight...I am not that girl.

Sure, I have watched every wedding show on TLC and WE since I was in middle school...but I just really loved all the pretty shiny things...I never thought of them in terms of me. (now, the ring on the other hand...well...I ALWAYS knew what I liked in rings...but I digress)

I have watched Say Yes to the Dress and heard Randy say how girls get stuck on one vision in their head...or how they bring too many opinionated people...or how they try on too many dresses (20-100) and get too confused...So I had learned from reality television what I was NOT supposed to do...but I had not really learned what I WAS supposed to do!

Now, don't get me wrong...I have watched enough dress shows to have an idea of what I wanted...and I assure you I had saved images of $6,000 dollar designer gowns on my iPad the second I was engaged, but I was very very open minded.

Shai had wonderful timing in planning to propose right before I had a week at home with my family in Florida. I decided that I really wanted my grandparents to be there when I picked my dress and while I could expect my mother to fly out to Vegas to go shopping with me, I couldn't really expect them to. So, the second I had service on the ship, I sent my mom a text and said "hey, I got engaged, please book bridal dress appointments so that we can go shopping with grandma." and then I lost service again. hehe.

I grew up in a relatively small town area and there is one store there, Patricias that sells wedding dresses and prom dresses. I didn't really expect to see anything super great there but I figured it was an easy drive so why not. I couldn't decide where to go next (again, I hadn't really been researching dresses) and so I settled on Jon's Bridal which is self proclaimed "Florida's Largest Bridal Shop". Two ends of the wedding dress store spectrum.

So we started at Patricia's first thing when their doors opened at 10. I showed Becky all the high end couture gowns that I loved, were way over my budget, and oh, were only sold in California and overseas....I told her some of the things I HAD to have (like a train...because Shai asked for one) and that I was open to trying whatever she thought.

It was kind of surreal putting that first dress on. Like real grown-up dress up! Unfortunately I loved it...and every other one I tried on. My mother, grandmother, and the wonderful ladies working there were no help either...they all loved them too! This was NOT how it was supposed to happen per Say Yes to the Dress. I should have disliked a couple, there was supposed to be one that made my sides look lumpy or not make my waist small or whatever. Honestly, if I had been doing normal mall shopping and that happened, it would have been the day where I bought everything I tried on.

So two hours later, we left with three favorites in mind and an appointment for the next morning in case Jon's was a bust.

And good thing too...because it was.

After my two store experience I am absolutely convinced of one thing. Your consultant and the atmosphere will determine which dress you buy.

Jon's Bridal was huge, and the first thing we saw was a big sign saying "no photography of the dress unless purchased." Stupid. When I told Shai about that later, he thought it was such a dumb rule that we should have just left immediately. But we didn't, so I went through the racks with the consultant...who was far less fun, happy, or interesting than Becky, and picked out the dresses that they had in my size. For being "Florida's largest"...I was very underwhelmed. I was not allowed to put the dresses on and off myself because unlike Patricia's where they order them, at Jon's you buy them there and take them home that day -- probably helpful if you are planning a quick wedding or waited last minute to buy a dress...but that was not me, so I was annoyed. The consultant seemed like she was always watching us to make sure we didn't break the "photography" rule (which, we did try a couple times) then actually trying to help us. I did really like some of the dresses there but I could never have loved one because I just didn't like even being in that place. I knew we were done.

That night, I rallied the troops. I informed my father that he would be at Patricia's first thing in the morning and I called my best friend to make sure she would drive the hour from Tampa to be there before she had to go back to work (I swear, it was less demanding than it sounds...she was going to come see me anyways).

With everyone there, I was able to try on the top 4 dresses (yes, earlier I said 3 but I really wanted everyone to see another one too...and hey, it was MY appointment). I still loved all of them so we had to try one against the other and narrow it down in a bridal dress bracket of sorts...it was a hard decision. However, I did put one dress back on and got a bit misty eyed (and dad did too...shhhhh) and decided that must mean "it is the one." After all, that's what they do on TV lol. But really, it beat out the others and I felt like myself wearing it, as opposed to just being in it. They were able to make a couple of the changes I wanted and the veils I wanted as well. More than anything though, it was my dress because I was surrounded by the people that mean the most to me, so that dress carries with it the experience and memories I want to have with me on my special day.

So my advice to anyone is to just relax about it and make sure you find a bridal store that is FUN and bring the people you really care about, not everyone you think you have to bring or should bring. Be open minded and listen to your consultant...and don't over think it. You don't have to try one 900 dresses to be sure.

Cheers!
Kali