Our Engagement - told by the Groom

When it happened

Thursday, March 20, 2014

How we got engaged, from Shai

After we got engaged, Shai sent an email to his friends and family with the details (from his perspective). I think he tells it well, so here it is!

On February 1, 2014 Kali and I entered a London Gold jewelry store for the sole purpose of changing my watch battery. To my total surprise Kali was at the back of the store checking out engagement rings, which we had never discussed before. As it turns out, Kali was suddenly trying on the ring of her dreams, everything she had ever wanted all rolled into one beautiful 2 carat oval yellow diamond with a halo and a double band. It was even on sale, but only for February. We gave the saleswoman our info then left and didn't discuss it again.

Two days later, I called and purchased the ring and had it delivered to my neighbor's house.

For 2 months the ring and photo books (showing the past year of our lives) were hidden in my neighbor's safe in an Amazon cardboard box. Two weeks before the cruise, I placed an identical, but empty, Amazon box in the garage directly in front of Kali's parking spot so she could subliminally get used to seeing the box and to ensure she does not inquire about it. The day before we left for Orlando, my neighbor executed our covert operation as planned and switched the empty box with the much heavier box containing the engagement ring and photo books.

I spent the two months prior to our cruise mostly avoiding discussion about engagement rings. At one point Kali even called London Gold and inquired about the ring, but I had already instructed the saleswoman to notify all the other sales reps to lie to Kali if she calls. After Kali told me she called and the ring of her dreams was gone, I, of course, apologized saying I had no idea that ring was so important to her and that no one ever called me about it. She insisted I was supposed to call them, not the other way around. I continued to manipulate any future conversations which culminated in me printing out some word docs that Kali had created and placing them into a special folder that "we would look at together once we're finally in Tampa with her family and have some time."

Two days before we left, I took Kali to get a manicure and pedicure (and yes, I absolutely got one too). She normally only gets pedicures but I talked her into getting a manicure and was even able to have her get that gel kind that apparenly will last longer. I didn't want to take any chances that she would pick the polish off and not be happy with all the pictures of her hand!!

The day finally arrived for us to head to Orlando for the cruise. I placed everything into my carry-on backpack and ensured It never left my sight while we traveled. At one point, Kali even asked what I had in there because she could see how full and heavy it was; "books" I responded, "lots of books." My next challenge was to make it thru airport and cruise security without having my backpack checked and my cover subsequently blown. As it turned out, my backpack was checked by cruise security but I managed to get Kali to wait by the conveyer belt while I whispered to the lady that there was engagement material for my proposal onboard the ship that night. She smiled and giggled then quickly checked my bag while ensuring Kali would not see its true contents. It was time to board the ship!

My Carnival Cruise agent, Manny (who has helped me cruise since 2010), had accomplished his best work ever in laying the groundwork and truly setting me up for success. He emailed the head Maître D' and the head Group Coordinator prior to our arrival and set in motion my entire proposal plan, which was to propose to Kali at dinner the first night while our song played over the loud speaker, followed by champagne being brought to our table, and the entire production captured by a photographer and videographer, and afterwards, waiting for us in our cabin would be chocolate covered strawberries and the photo book with a special card I wrote.

I boarded the ship ready to meet the Maître D and Group Coordinator at our pre-coordinated time as soon as I could get free from Kali. I immediately went to "change into my bathing suit" which took a lot longer than Kali expected. I eventually told her that the men's bathroom was closed and I had to find another one which was not so easy, but I brought back some good info on events taking place on the ship that night. The truth is I ran downstairs to guest services and talked to Maya, the Group Coordinator, and handed her the CD with our song and a paper I typed detailing the entire plan. Then I ran to meet Roland, the head Maître D at the dining room, and discussed the plan with him. Finally, I changed into my bathing suit and ran back to the pool to have a fruity cocktail drink with Kali and explain how impossible it was to find a bathroom.

A couple hours later, Maya called our cabin to confirm the price of the photographer and videographer. Kali was half-asleep napping on the bed when I picked up the phone. Maya immediately told me she planned to hang up if Kali answered. I made sure to speak to her as if we had not met before and as if I was not sure why she was calling. After I said "that's fine" regarding the cost, Maya hung up and I could hear the dial tone, but I continued speaking into the phone, "we haven't noticed any problems with our sail & sign cards but we'll be sure to let you know if either of them don't work, thanks for the call." Kali was too tired to even ask me what they were calling about.

Finally, it was time to get ready for dinner. I insisted we dress up fancy every night even though the only real formal dress up night was Captain's Night the following night. Kali went along with the idea not realizing of course that I was anticipating us being on video and having a personal photographer take our engagement pictures all around the ship for one hour following the proposal.

Everything was perfect, and before I could remove the ring from the box and place it on Kali's finger, she grabbed it from the box and placed it there herself!

The rest of the cruise was amazing. Kali gave me an early birthday present which was swimming with dolphins at Atlantis in Nassau, Bahamas and she bought me an "engagement" watch onboard the ship. Our fellow cruise passengers constantly congratulated us and the crew was wonderful. We played some Craps and Kali experienced what it feels like to throw the dice for 45 minutes straight standing at the end of the table as everyone around her cheers constantly as we are all making money together.

Happiest Bachelorette Party

I know, it has been 10 months since my Bachelorette Party and I am finally getting around to blogging about it...but I am DETERMINED to finish this wedding series!!

Since I live in Vegas, the land of the Bachelor/Bachelorette party, it would seem obvious that I would have my Bachelorette party in my own backyard. Unfortunately, I have seen (and made fun of) 1 too many of these club-hopping, penis-crown wearing, shoe-in-hand shenanigans to have my own here. Call me jaded.

Sub-note - I am not hating on anyone who has their bachelorette party here, I have been part of one, and I regularly give advice to those planning them. So party on ladies and gents.

Instead, I decided that I wanted my bachelorette party at the happiest place on earth. Disney. Yup, this grown-ass woman wanted to celebrate singledom getting' shwasty with Mickey.

 

Ok, so that's Pluto, not Mickey

Since all but one of my bridesmaids lived on the east coast, it seemed best for them too. After all, I was already making them fly to Vegas for the wedding! 

I wanted to drink around the world at Epcot and then the rest was up to them.

When I was deployed, I ordered a bolt of tulle and some elastic and got to work making myself a fabulous skirt for my party (yes, I got a few funny looks walking around with a thing of tulle heading back to my dorm). It was incredibly easy to make, if not a bit time consuming, and I have decided that I would like a reason to wear it on a regular basis.

Oh, and I made myself a nifty flower crown too =)

I have to say, I was really surprised at how many people got that I was a bride to be without me wearing any bridal sash or decorations. It was almost like, this grown woman is wearing a tutu and a crown...the only explanation can be she is getting married, or she lost a bet...

Epcot was actually in the middle of its international food festival when we were there, so we ended up doing a bit more eating than drinking (oh hey wedding diet...)

It was fun being with a bunch of girlfriends and acting like kids. I only wish we had a couple more hours in the park!

Afterwards we headed back to the condo to change for dinner and dancing.
I opted out of the tutu for the evening and slipped into a fun Herve Leger dress.

We ate a cute Tapas restaurant that I can't remember the name of all these months later and then went to one piano bar (that was awful and full of middle aged men) so we left and went to Jellyrolls - Disney's own piano bar. 

The hokey-pokey

Somewhere between dinner and the bar, we lost half of the bridesmaids as the decided they wanted me to look like a bachelorette after all and got me a veil and sash...and a bouquet of daisies that I had to generously distribute to the men in the bar. 

There was a game involving tequila too. I had about 7-8 shots I think we decided and was surprisingly coherent (which I attribute to drinking a glass of water for every shot).

You make me feel like I'm living a (pre)teenage dream

Oh and Joey Fatone from NSync was there too. The tequila got the best of me and I told him that Lance was my favorite and it was a bummer he was gay. I also told Joey I was sorry he was fighting with his wife all night. Good job tequila, you get one chance at your pre-teen dream and you go with that. *face palm*

My "why are you still here talking" face

All in all, I would say it was a success. We were all in surprisingly decent shape the next morning but decided to down a hearty meal at Cracker Barrel just in case.

Showered with Love

Pinterest can almost be depressing when you see all of those perfectly styled, perfectly groomed brides and bridal parties sipping on their perfect cocktails in perfectly crafted locations. Especially when you start to think about all the time and money needed to make them look that way!

Lucky for me I had a pretty great team of people helping me have an incredibly lovely bridal shower. My dad is actually the one who suggested (and paid for) the country club venue for it. The clubhouse hosts lots of weddings every year so I definitely felt special having my shower there. The staff was fantastic, always keeping champagne glasses full and they adapted the menu perfectly to meet all my gluten free needs. 

 

One of my bridesmaids is a Pilot and she wasn't able to make it to the shower. Instead, she made almost all of the decorations for it and brought them all down to my mom's house 2 weeks earlier so it would still be perfect. She hand-painted candleholders with gold glitter, brought gold frames, pennants, my name in gold pennies (how funny), and tons and tons of pink poufs! The shower wouldn't have been half as beautiful without her Pinterest creativity all over.

My other bridesmaid built a photo-booth background frame so that I could set up my camera that I bought a tripod and remote for in order to have our own photo booth. It turned out so perfect - I only wish I had taken MORE pictures with everyone!!

I'm not a huge kitschy game person so I decided I would rather paint wine glasses so everyone could have a useable favor! We had glasses, stencils and paint...and a blast!

It was nice having a photographer at the shower so my mom didn't have to worry about taking pictures...and so she could be in them! If you have a friend or friend of a friend who can help out on this, I definitely recommend it !!

I didn't register for any gifts for the shower (or the wedding) so everything I received was just extra fun love! It was certainly a wonderful evening.

Dressing the rest. {Bridesmaid outfits}

I am absolutely convinced that selecting a bridesmaid dress is more difficult than a wedding dress. No. Doubt.

You see, when it comes to a wedding dress, you kind of know what you like, what looks best, and what look you are going for. Not that it is easy to pick the dress...but when you are physically trying on all of the dresses, it definitely helps.

So maybe it would be easy if you had all of your bridesmaids together and all of the dresses you were thinking about using, and they could try them all on it would be easier...but that is not my situation, and I venture to say it is not the situation of many brides.

Nope, I communicate with my girls on Facebook.

The second they all said yes, I created a Facebook page for easy communication....except for the 2 that don't use Facebook. I have posted picture upon picture and idea upon idea on this page in order for them to see what I am thinking and provide feedback (like on some of those Pinterest Fails).

First I had to decide what color of dress I wanted. Originally I had thought to put the girls in purple and the guys in green...but somewhere along the line we ended up buying purple accent pieces for the guys...and I knew I didn't want both sides in the same color...so that left green or brown for the girls.

When Shai and I first went shopping to look for the bridal party, we went in every store imaginable - BEBE, Arden B, BCBG, Express, AX, New York & Co, Urban Outfitters, H&M, etc. Note, we did not go into a "bridal store" because I really wanted to find dresses that were made to be worn elsewhere than a wedding -- not a dress made for a wedding that I could say "oh sure, you can totally wear this again somewhere" riiiiight. We actually found one dress (not telling where) that we both liked, but it was our first day looking and I wasn't sure if it was the color I wanted to go with...and so we kept on looking.

Fast forward almost 4 months of me looking online at dresses at even MORE stores and a lot of posts that looked like this

Just picture after picture of dresses. All sorts of different styles! I lost the vision (if I even had one to start) I was going for because all I could see were pretty dresses that I liked...but wasn't sure if I liked for a wedding. Those bridesmaids of mine were not much help either...they liked almost every dress! Granted, I eliminated a few because they confirmed what I already thought...but they didn't even seem to hate one of the options (clearly that means I have good taste, right? ;-) ) 

One day after work, I was busy looking at dresses online (I should have kept track of how many hours I spent doing this...) and I decided to check out the website of the store Shai and I had seen that very first dress at....and BAM. There it was...and 40% off no less!! I immediately took that as a sign that it was the dress and started my international texting, emailing and facebooking in order to get the correct sizes. While I was waiting (very impatiently from across the world I might add) I searched for online coupons and found one for $50 off every purchase over $150. Whaaaaat! I was able to buy the dresses in two separate orders and save a $100! Like I said, it was a sign.

Even though the wedding is still 7 months away, getting these dresses was the last "big" decision I needed to make and it was incredibly frustrating to have a loose end. After all, I found my dress the week I got engaged and within two days of looking. These took me almost 4 months of looking!!

Oh but that's not all! I needed the accessories to go with the dresses now. I really wanted an accent sash and a bold necklace to go with the understated dresses I chose. Oh yes, back to the drawing board it was, or more accurately the internet. I checked out Forever21, Express, Charming Charlies, and Zullily just to name a few -- looking for the perfect balance of style and price. Emphasis on price. I have never been comfortable buying things that weren't on sale and my wedding is no exception. The only piece of clothing for the entire bridal party that we have purchased to include Shai's outfit (since we purchased it all) that was not on sale has been my dress, but we did get a discount on my veil. I am very proud of those purchases. By checking websites every single day, I was able to find a fun necklace I think we'll love (remember, I haven't seen it in person yet) for 50% off.

The best part though, are the sashes.

Yup. He went sash shopping for me. I had been looking online for belts or sashes but I realized that the best option was going to be to order sashes from a bridal store. David's Bridal had a great online sale on sashes....but they were not in a color that would work. So I asked my wonderful fiancé if he would go shopping for me. We facetimed (like Skype for you non-iPhone/iPad users) the entire time he was in the store and I have to say, I really enjoyed it...it was pretty funny. I wish I could have seen what he looked like walking into a Bridal store alone, and as the only guy in there!

He showed me several sashes that were apparently in the "green family"

According to him and the women in the store I made him ask...those are all green. Not blue. Green. I'm sorry but the two in the middle (and the one sash) look like they have a lot of blue in them! He told me that he could see how it changed from "real life" image to "facetime" image...so I made him take a picture of them and send it as well.

That one on the right still looks like it has a lot of blue in it to me! At this point, regardless of whether it looks only green in person -- it looks blueish green in a picture...and that is what I will be looking at for much longer! So that one was opted out -- even after he asked several women which they liked better and had them confirm both were green lol.

We then found a color I loved...only to be told that they could only make dresses in it -- not sashes!! Back to the beginning. Somehow, even though we had been saying dark green from the beginning...there were still more and more color swatches popping out of the woodwork. I put a lot of faith in Shai and the lady helping him with the final selection I made (nope, it isn't any of the ones you see here). The lady told us that they will be ready in 3 months - just in time for me to get home! I am certainly glad he was able to help me out with that because if we had waited until I was home we may not have had enough time to get them made ... or worse ... have to pay extra for them to be rushed! He is such a great groom huh?

I am so excited to finally have everything for the girls done and put behind me, I am rarely an indecisive person and it just feels uncomfortable to have decisions left unmade. Now truthfully all I have left to do are the small details and DIY touches I want to do when I get home. If it wasn't for the fact that everything I bring out here I have to bring back, I swear I would have already turned my room out here into a craft factory.

xo!
Kali

So...I said yes to my dress

There are lots of little girls who dream about their perfect wedding and their perfect dress for their whole lives and then when they get engaged they HAVE to try on THAT dress and will search high and low for it.

Let me be straight...I am not that girl.

Sure, I have watched every wedding show on TLC and WE since I was in middle school...but I just really loved all the pretty shiny things...I never thought of them in terms of me. (now, the ring on the other hand...well...I ALWAYS knew what I liked in rings...but I digress)

I have watched Say Yes to the Dress and heard Randy say how girls get stuck on one vision in their head...or how they bring too many opinionated people...or how they try on too many dresses (20-100) and get too confused...So I had learned from reality television what I was NOT supposed to do...but I had not really learned what I WAS supposed to do!

Now, don't get me wrong...I have watched enough dress shows to have an idea of what I wanted...and I assure you I had saved images of $6,000 dollar designer gowns on my iPad the second I was engaged, but I was very very open minded.

Shai had wonderful timing in planning to propose right before I had a week at home with my family in Florida. I decided that I really wanted my grandparents to be there when I picked my dress and while I could expect my mother to fly out to Vegas to go shopping with me, I couldn't really expect them to. So, the second I had service on the ship, I sent my mom a text and said "hey, I got engaged, please book bridal dress appointments so that we can go shopping with grandma." and then I lost service again. hehe.

I grew up in a relatively small town area and there is one store there, Patricias that sells wedding dresses and prom dresses. I didn't really expect to see anything super great there but I figured it was an easy drive so why not. I couldn't decide where to go next (again, I hadn't really been researching dresses) and so I settled on Jon's Bridal which is self proclaimed "Florida's Largest Bridal Shop". Two ends of the wedding dress store spectrum.

So we started at Patricia's first thing when their doors opened at 10. I showed Becky all the high end couture gowns that I loved, were way over my budget, and oh, were only sold in California and overseas....I told her some of the things I HAD to have (like a train...because Shai asked for one) and that I was open to trying whatever she thought.

It was kind of surreal putting that first dress on. Like real grown-up dress up! Unfortunately I loved it...and every other one I tried on. My mother, grandmother, and the wonderful ladies working there were no help either...they all loved them too! This was NOT how it was supposed to happen per Say Yes to the Dress. I should have disliked a couple, there was supposed to be one that made my sides look lumpy or not make my waist small or whatever. Honestly, if I had been doing normal mall shopping and that happened, it would have been the day where I bought everything I tried on.

So two hours later, we left with three favorites in mind and an appointment for the next morning in case Jon's was a bust.

And good thing too...because it was.

After my two store experience I am absolutely convinced of one thing. Your consultant and the atmosphere will determine which dress you buy.

Jon's Bridal was huge, and the first thing we saw was a big sign saying "no photography of the dress unless purchased." Stupid. When I told Shai about that later, he thought it was such a dumb rule that we should have just left immediately. But we didn't, so I went through the racks with the consultant...who was far less fun, happy, or interesting than Becky, and picked out the dresses that they had in my size. For being "Florida's largest"...I was very underwhelmed. I was not allowed to put the dresses on and off myself because unlike Patricia's where they order them, at Jon's you buy them there and take them home that day -- probably helpful if you are planning a quick wedding or waited last minute to buy a dress...but that was not me, so I was annoyed. The consultant seemed like she was always watching us to make sure we didn't break the "photography" rule (which, we did try a couple times) then actually trying to help us. I did really like some of the dresses there but I could never have loved one because I just didn't like even being in that place. I knew we were done.

That night, I rallied the troops. I informed my father that he would be at Patricia's first thing in the morning and I called my best friend to make sure she would drive the hour from Tampa to be there before she had to go back to work (I swear, it was less demanding than it sounds...she was going to come see me anyways).

With everyone there, I was able to try on the top 4 dresses (yes, earlier I said 3 but I really wanted everyone to see another one too...and hey, it was MY appointment). I still loved all of them so we had to try one against the other and narrow it down in a bridal dress bracket of sorts...it was a hard decision. However, I did put one dress back on and got a bit misty eyed (and dad did too...shhhhh) and decided that must mean "it is the one." After all, that's what they do on TV lol. But really, it beat out the others and I felt like myself wearing it, as opposed to just being in it. They were able to make a couple of the changes I wanted and the veils I wanted as well. More than anything though, it was my dress because I was surrounded by the people that mean the most to me, so that dress carries with it the experience and memories I want to have with me on my special day.

So my advice to anyone is to just relax about it and make sure you find a bridal store that is FUN and bring the people you really care about, not everyone you think you have to bring or should bring. Be open minded and listen to your consultant...and don't over think it. You don't have to try one 900 dresses to be sure.

Cheers!
Kali

Whoops its been a while. Wedding Brain.

So I just realized that I had not blogged since September.
Well....I guess I knew that I hadn't but I have been absurdly busy. I've been on lots of trips I meant to blog about, had PRK (like LASIK) that I meant to blog about, had a birthday and several wonderful holidays I wanted to blog about...ate at too many amazing restaurants and saw a ton of great concerts I wanted to blog about...got another pup I could do way too many blogs about....but now that I am engaged...I think I will finally sit down and write a blog post.

I took the ring out of the box and put it on myself!

There are so many people I know getting married right now it seems like, or at least engaged. I love hearing about all of the challenges and experiences that everyone is going through or has gone through! Hopefully you all wont mind that I share mine!

So consider this post your fair warning. The next few months will likely be a lot of ruffles, sparkle, and frosting.

Oh and I am deploying next month too....so maybe a little bit about that. I mean honestly, between preparing for the deployment and planning a wedding...it is a miracle I am not dreaming about camouflage bouquets!

Since Shai proposed on a cruise, we did not have any cell service to call anyone back home, so I had a couple days to keep it all to myself. But when we did arrive, and started to tell everyone....everyone wanted the whole story...and Shai is a man of many details. Luckily he wrote an email to all of his friends and family and sent it to them in order to save our voices. I took that email and put it onto our wedding site that you can see here!

I can't wait to share all of the things I am finding out with you. Oh and in case you missed it...you can read the proposal here. I think the next post will be about the dress!